Circus of the Absurd

I am not much of a betting woman, but I would ante up my first born child on this one.  Okay, I would even see you my first born and raise you my second born on the wager that you have never said either of these two phrases while at your job.  I could probably just stop at "these two phrases.":

Phrase #1:  "Whatcha got there?  Oh...hmmmm...well, put that pickled baby shark in a jar under your desk and turn to page 63 in your math book.  And don't even think about taking the cover off during the next 45 minutes.  I'll take your word for it that his eyelids open and close."

Phrase #2:  "Whoa!  You look different today, did you get a haircut?  Ah, I see...how embarrassing...well, I have never worn a weave before but I'll do my best to get yours back attached securely to your scalp."

True story, I said both today.

I love my job.

Looks like my kids are my own for another hand.

Practice Makes Perfect

Necessary background information:  Courtney has been asking me for a sister, preferably one named Lainie who is 4.5 years old, quite often lately.

Last evening, after returning from work/piano lessons/soccer and while I was preparing dinner/monitoring Christopher completing his homework/emptying lunch boxes/signing permission slips for after school activities/writing checks for after school activities/drinking a cup of tea/listening to Courtney read her Word Wall Words 600 times/cleaning out 3 week old sludge from a fridge drawer that wouldn't open due to the rotten glaze that had been pears and that had leaked and settled in the drawer slides/trying to train the dog to run the microwave (okay, I may be embellishing the scene a bit...it was NOT tea, unless like me, you call your carbonated barley and hops beverage of choice "tea" to make yourself feel more centered and Eastern Asian), Courtney asked,

 "Mom, someday soon can we have a whole day called a Practice Day?"  

To this question I gave my most readily used and automated response to my children's requests, "Maybe someday."

In between sips Word Wall Words, I replayed what she had asked me in my head and decided it was worth digging a bit deeper into.  

"What is a 'Practice Day' Courts?"

"It's a day, like a Sunday, where we practice all day.  I would practice piano.  And tying my shoes.  And spelling.  Christopher would practice being a nice brother.  And sharing.  And talking nicely.  And you and Daddy would practice making me a baby sister, named Lainie who is four and a half."

"Sorry Courts, Practice Day is a definite no-go." 

Top 10 Reasons The First Ever Renaud Family Camping Trip Was A Success:

10.  No cell coverage or Wifi access at campsite or anywhere on the

       campground.

9.  No cell coverage or Wifi access at campsite or anywhere on the

      campground.

8.  No cell coverage or Wifi access at campsite or anywhere on the

      campground.

7.  No cell coverage or Wifi access at campsite or anywhere on the

      campground. 

6.  No cell coverage or Wifi access at campsite or anywhere on the

      campground. 

5.  No cell coverage or Wifi access at campsite or anywhere on the

      campground.

4.  No cell coverage or Wifi access at campsite or anywhere on the

      campground.

3.  No cell coverage or Wifi access at campsite or anywhere on the

      campground.

2.  No cell coverage or Wifi access at campsite or anywhere on the

      campground.

And the #1 reason we will be going camping there again...

1.  (clean) Flush toilets.  

Summer Reading

A recent trip to Barnes & Nobles...

Can't believe someone wrote MY book before me.  And an autographed copy at that.  

Because I laughed (really obnoxiously for the quiet "Parenting/Family" aisle of the store) through the first chapter of the above book and wondered out loud, "Is that REALLY all you've got???", I decided that purchasing the book below probably couldn't hurt.  


Here I am reading poolside.
My kids are no where to be found.
No power struggle here.
Obviously I DO NOT need this book, I have it all figured out...  

Ouch!

Quote of the night from Courtney:
Clunk.  
Short pause followed by, "Owwwww.  I think I just broke my head knuckle."

Not all "fruit" is created equally

While driving to the lake recently, I listened to the kids in the back seat negotiate through a package of Runts candy ("I'll give you two oranges and a lime for one banana.")  I finally decided that they had had enough candy for the moment. 


Me:  "That is enough candy you two, hand the package forward."
Courtney:  "Noooooooo...I was living the dream!"  

Two Peas In A Pod

I have used many a cliche phrase to describe my two children as a pair; Ying and Yang, Sugar & Spice, Frick and Frack, Tweedle Do and Tweedle Sit and Watch Her Do All The Work.  But last night, while putting her to bed, Courtney reminded me of just how she feels about her brother.

From under her snuggly covers:  

"I love having play dates, but I am lucky because I live with my bestest friend ever."

 Recent summer dinner

Summer reading

See Courtney Read. Read Courtney Read.

As Kindergarten winds down for my bitty one, I have really been enjoying the process of listening to Courtney learn to read.  She seems to have a slower, more methodical approach to the whole process than Christopher ever did (shocker, I know...not sure I can use "slow" OR "methodical" in many sentences when describing Christopher!), which has provided more opportunities for me to hear her trying to make sense of printed language.  As I listen to her develop her decoding skills, I am reminded of just how complex and inconsistent written language can be.  Here is tonight's example:

Courtney found a church bulletin from a few weeks back in the back seat of the van and attempted to read it while we were driving along.  The front read:

April 8th

St. Paul's Church

10:00 a.m.

She read:

"April Eight-ith

Street Paul-Tall-Comma-Ssss Church

One Thousand A period M period"

The way I figure it, she'll be through, To Kill A Mockingbird by the end of the summer.  

A mom by any other name...

This evening Mark came in from outside and, assuming I was upstairs, stood at the bottom of the stairs and yelled up, "Hey Honey, You ready to eat?"

Courtney came up beside him and knowingly stated, "Daddy, 'Honey' is in the downstairs bathroom."