Saturday, March 3, 2012

Tradition, Tradition! (must sing title)

In our household if you do something once, it is officially a "tradition". My kids love their traditions and these traditions somehow never seem to slip through their steel trap memories. There are good ones, as in, "We HAVE to decorate a bush with edible ornaments for the woodlawn creatures TODAY. It's our Christmas tradition. We ALWAYS do it 6 days after we hang the wreath and one day before the first snow" (this being said the year after we did this for the first time.) There are not so good ones, as in, "Augh Mom, you always seem to get really sick the day you say you will bring us to the Traveling Tetanus Fair that comes to town and sets up in the big parking lot. It's a bad tradition."

There is a tradition for every holiday, birthday, and third Thursday in our house. And then there is the Grand Supreme of all traditions. The Open Heart Surgery Performed With A Dull Scalpel and No Anesthesia of traditions.

School Vacation Craft Day.

It has become a tradition that we reserve one day of every school break for Vacation Craft Day.

In theory the day goes like this:

"Kids, go get all those fun, educational, creative Make Your Own kits you were given for Christmas/your birthday/sweet revenge for your mother being a not so nice sister growing up and we'll spend the entire day crafting. We'll weave. We'll paint. We'll make memories of togetherness and joy while creating a birdhouse from pipe cleaners and googley eyes."

"Okay Mommy. I love how you are so patient and kind on Vacation Craft Day and to think, we get a new set of pot holders out of the day too. This is the best tradition ever."

In my nightmares it goes like this:

"Step #652 of How To Make Your Own Paper Dolls Out Of Recycled Paper Plates says to TEAR the tabs, not to CUT the tabs. STOP CUTTING! PUT THE SCISSORS DOWN! TEAR, DON'T CUT! SCISSORS. DOWN. 1, 2...JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU KIDDING ME? GO FIND THE TAPE."

In reality, it is somewhere in between.

Vacation Craft Day usually starts out quite well. Then I wake up and it takes an immediate turn for the worse. This vacation's traditional day did not disappoint.

I will admit that I did not think that we could top last Vacation's Craft Day, the day we made paper...FROM FRIGGIN' SCRATCH. Yes, you read that correctly. We took perfectly good paper (lots of it), spent 4+ hours ripping it to tiny shreds, burnt out the motor in our blender turning it into pulp, and then built, FROM FRIGGIN' SCRATCH, a mold of wood and fiberglass screening. Prisoners of war would have opted for any other inhumane torture technique rather than endure a second Paper Making Vacation Craft Day with us. And by hour #7, I was fantasizing about Guantanamo Bay. The only upside to that day was that, with making paper being such a monumental task, it was the only task on the docket.
(In case the validity of this post was starting to be questioned,
here is evidence from last Vacation Craft Day.)

This time I couldn't be so lucky. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good craft. Maybe even two. I find it relaxing to create a sweet card or to dream up a DIY party favor and then make it from scratch. It is not the crafting that does us all in on these days. And it is definitely not the company either. There is just something in the design of the day, something that I can't put my finger on, that makes it the perfect storm of Crafting Hell. Ask any of the participants, "How was Vacation Craft Day?" and I'm sure you'll get the same answer. "It was okay, but it's a tradition."


Here is a photo recap of 2012 February Vacation Craft Day.

A little painting.


A little building.


A little attempt at time lapse photography of the science behind baking.


A little butcher knife in the background.


A little homemade pretzel making.


A little attempt at passing off "matching socks" as a craft. They didn't buy it.


A little bit proud of herself. Love those lips, Sleeping Beauty.


A little Lego satisfaction.



A little bit of digital shoplifting. (Is it really THAT wrong to take a picture of the one and only recipe you want from the book instead of buying the entire cookbook?) Doesn't the (stolen) picture make those super cute Band-Aid Cookies look easy?!?!


A little karma for not buying the cookbook.


A little tradition of my own to wrap up another successful Vacation Craft Day.




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